grandma shit on top of the toilet
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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