He passed out mid-signature
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize