the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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