My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
honey bunches of taint.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
