The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Semen is not good for contacts.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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