I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
