then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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