I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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