You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
