Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
