JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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