Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
