someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
