I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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