It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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