god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
