Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
