His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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