I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
