everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
