You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
