The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
