I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
