..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
