Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
