forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
