WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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