Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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