woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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