I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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