maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
