in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
