As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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