Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
