I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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