and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I love you.
Bad choice
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