Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
