did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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