so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
