I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
