Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
