just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Dick very happy bro
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
