Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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