girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize