The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
