It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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