Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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