I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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