white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
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