He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
