yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
