I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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