her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
