Fine. I'll sleep in my office
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
