you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize