this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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