see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
did i walk over a car last night?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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