Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
