the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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