im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
