Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
