im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
The air taste purple.
Randomize