Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Panties = found
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
