Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She's the barista slut.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
