I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
