Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
