I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Randomize
