i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
